Lessons from Tumbled Stones

The stones are still there, sloped-shouldered chunks of their former grandeur lying in Olympia. Smoothed by time, water and wind, the rough edges are made plain. The elements have a way of doing a number on us as well, with repeated exposure to sun, wind and rain. 

Do we grow smooth in response -- adapt and overcome? -- or toughen and tighten our way through life?

I had the chance to visit this landscape in the 70s and again a few years ago. In 35 years, the rocks were not perceptibly changed; the country of Greece, however, was transformed from its provincial self into a cousin of its former self: it bore the marks of family resemblance but no longer showed its distinctive local identity. Cable television, I am told, was the thief in the night.

Cable and satellite TV fed the desire to have what others are having, eating and wearing. There was no turning back. The temptation to live the good life American TV shows portrayed was everywhere. Suddenly, it seemed the old ways were not enough. The old way of life had lost its value to a new generation. 

Taking in scenes above from tumbled stones in Olympia and visiting the elegant carved marble sculptures of Achilles remind me that thousands of years ago, men and women sought wisdom, pleasure, heroes and significance from a myriad of places, as we do today. The ancients did not need TV to generate their entertainment; they lived among heroes and gods. 

Just as in the story of Achilles, each of us has a place of vulnerability. We may stand strong only to fall unexpectedly when pierced in that place. Vigilance is essential. The attack may come to us dressed as temptation or as an assault by fear, reducing us to rubble.

How to protect oneself from attack in the vulnerable places requires a heightened NORAD-like awareness of us and our surroundings. I’m speaking personally, not militarily, though the NORAD emblem of wings encircling the globe with a well-placed sword centered over North America is an interesting visual that could be a graphic designer’s take on an old hymn. The point is one that scouting still teaches: Be prepared.

Be prepared.

Gird yourself.

Anticipate needs and work to meet them.

Don’t live life on autopilot.

Be fully present.

Live with gratitude for what we have, not with an eye on our deficits.

Life is not “set it and forget it.” The gift of life still calls us to respond daily, I believe, with focus on the needs of each day.

Temptations come to us in that heel of vulnerability. That which never was a temptation in one season of life can become a strong desire when we least expect it. One whose radar is down, if you will, becomes easy prey.

When we say smugly, “I don’t have a problem with that,” we just got a problem with that. Anything. Credit card debt? Infidelity? Deceit of any kind? Dishonesty? I believe that when we set ourselves up as master over anything, when we say pridefully what we would never do, take cover: We just put ourselves in a place to be tested, perhaps to experience an encounter that helps reveal our character.

It may not be apparent for a long time, but stay alert. Temptation comes to us looking alluring, appealing, not as broken and twisted, for that would be too easy to recognize. It only becomes tempting when offering something we want. Temptation has a long fuse and a long memory. It may wait until a more opportune time to return. It is an old story made new every day, but one to be faced, not feared.

 Fear is that Achilles heel for many. Fear shows up as a debilitating dread that holds some in its clutches. Fear of failing, fear of not measuring up to others' expectations, fear of intimacy--the list continues--with a paralyzing result in not fully living this life we have been given.

We were not made for a half-hearted attempt at life. There is freedom from the bondage of fear and from the destructive arrows piercing our vulnerable selves, and it comes to us through love.

I have read that the opposite of fear is not courage; it is faith. I find that faith generates courage as well.

 “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” I John 4:18

"No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it." I Corinthians 10:13

The Christian has the heavenly Father’s help in resisting temptation. God is faithful.

"...But with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it."  If temptation is common to all, it is wise to consider the way out. But the way out may be like that Bear Hunt: sometimes we have to go through it. The way through it--the various trials in our lifetimes--is the way of endurance. 

Endurance is not merely the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.  William Barclay 

31 Things Barbie Never Knew

Barbie's debut in 1959 is a distant galaxy away from 2013. I'm told little girls--straddling two centuries--still want Barbie cakes and pink boas and princess dresses along with their smart phones.  And when they grow up, our culture tells us they want a killer wardrobe and a red convertible with or without Ken or a suitable substitute. With all due respect to Mattel and its marketing genius, our girls will learn that life is no fairy tale to be lived in the confines of a pink vinyl Dream House. Life is too big for that. Real Life out of the Barbie box calls for a breadth skills that Barbie never needed and a depth of spiritual maturity to sustain us through the collapse of dreams and rebuilding of new ones.

This world's goods aren't enough.

Fashion falls short.

The blister pack of outfits with matching plastic pumps pales in comparison to the resources needed to face life outside the Dream House. It would take Skipper and Midge and Scooter and the whole crew to create a community of women and men to address life skills 101. We can help equip our daughters today with knowledge far better than a wish for Happily Ever After. 

  "31 things to teach your daughter" has been circulating with unnamed authors. I saw a compilation and made some changes tonight as I considered it. This is not comprehensive, but rather a starting place for a conversation for our girls...our nieces...our daughters. It is in stream-of-consciousness format: alternatively addressed to and about the girls of a coming generation.

[I've already lived through the 60's and '70s once, so please give a little grace for addressing boys and girls separately. I have learned that's it's actually ok....political correctness aside. Anyone reading this is likely inclined to be generous and not critical anyway. Thanks.]

1. Learn how to give a firm handshake. Teach girls to initiate a handshake confidently. Teach boys too.

2. Look people in the eye when you talk with them. Learn to express yourself well. 

3. Show respect for yourself and act in a way that is worthy of respect. This includes the way you dress and speak. Yes, it sounds old fashioned, like something out of the '50s. I make no apologies. Some things are just timeless.

4. Make new friends and keep the old. Plastic shoes are disposable; people are not. We need one another.
 
5. Pay attention to how guys treat their moms, and stay clear of the ones who are not respectful. Don't kid yourself: You are not likely to be the exception.

6. Don't turn red flags pink. When you see a red flag in a relationship, don't tell yourself that it's really no big deal; it is. You can't make it fade or disappear. It is there as a warning.


7. Know how to change a tire, throw a football, drive a stick shift, and use a drill.

8. Have your own tool kit and know how to use it.

9. Don’t be afraid to use your voice – sometimes it’s the most powerful tool you have.

10. Know basic self defense – be able to get out of a situation, and run fast. And use that powerful voice.

11. Teach them how to apologize well; it will be necessary often. Model it for best results. The word "Sorry" is not an apology. And practice accepting an apology. Forgiveness is not easy, and it is not optional. 

12. Images published in magazines and online are photoshopped. They are altered reality. Anyone can manipulate brush strokes to have flawless skin or look skinny. Confidence and optimism are more attractive than a size on a label. And joy that comes from within beats a fake smile any day.

13. Laugh often, but not at others' expense. Laughter can diffuse a challenging situation, especially when you can laugh at yourself.

14. Block out the toxic voices that tell you you are not worth loving. You are beloved of the Father and a precious child of God. Not every opinion is worth listening to; Listen to the ones that matter, and learn whose opinion you will allow to shape your thoughts.

15. Advertisers spend millions to get into your head and wallet, and they are exceedingly good at it. Don't buy everything they are selling. And don't buy what you do not need.

16. Life is full of mountains and valleys. Not all mountains can be moved no matter how much we try. We learn--like that childhood Bear Hunt--sometimes we have to go through it. Or around it. To get to the other side. Practice courage and perseverance. Both are needed.

17. Write a proper handwritten thank you letter. Texting is no substitute. Add to this basic table manners. Manners is shorthand for many behaviors taught in Barbie's day and encompasses a way of living in community with courtesy for others. Showing concern for the other person is in short supply today. Please. Thank you. Excuse me. Do not interrupt grownups. Boys and girls who have good manners are welcome most anywhere, I remember learning. Manners have gotten caught in the crossfire of our culture, and our lack of civility and boorish rudeness bears witness to their demise. 

18. How to manage her money.

19. Nobody has it all. Don't fall for that one either.

20. How to handle herself online – using effective privacy settings, remembering that anything shared is already out of her hands, and knowing that people online aren’t always who they say they are. This is a minefield in her future.


21. Be slow to anger. 

22. Love fiercely.

23. Dream big, and set realistic goals. You can accomplish far more than you think you can.

24. Develop your strengths and talents. Know your personal limits and weaknesses as well. Once you identify them you can use them as a platform for action in your life and a landing place to rebuild.

25. Most things worth having or worth doing require sacrifice. Count the cost. Everything has a price.

26. Try to live with few regrets.

27. Just because it’s never been done doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Push the limits. Try. Try again. That's not trite; its called perseverance, and it's hard. You can do hard things.

28. Learn basic sewing skills. Everyone needs to know how to sew on a button and mend a hem. Just another form of a toolbox--with a string.

29. Trust your instincts. If it feels wrong, it probably is. Listen to that prompting, and don’t silence it.

30. Life comes unraveled when we least expect it. Sometimes we mend and help another; sometimes we need mending. Know where to go and how to ask for help. In my faith experience, there is a Healer who mends our broken places; God sometimes cures in the mending, but always  provides a way through life's unraveling times, moving toward ultimate healing.

31. There is more to this world than meets the eye. Pursue things that last. Develop an eternal perspective.



Thanks to Sally for beautiful Barbie cake. ;-)

We Can't Stop This...

The door opened, and it was as though the curtain parted.

I thought she might be the one, but there was whisper of doubt.

I had not actually met her, you understand; I had only been one of thousands who had prayed for her over a long period of time when she was hanging precariously between life and death. Life lived from a distance creates that cushion that sometimes prevents our bridging a four-year gap. But still....there was an unsettling familiarity when she walked into the store where I worked today.

Something in the way she moves...

I am drawing closer, inexplicably. I step into her space and ask gently, Are you Nicole?

This healthy brunette with deep brown eyes speaks back to me, Yes. Her strong body today stands juxtaposed to the fragile one I had imagined during Nicole Marquez's journey back to the land of the living. Flashbacks to her mother's faithful entries flooded my memory as I remembered Susan Marquez's story of her daughter's most difficult performance yet on the stage of  New York Presbyterian Hospital.

Day after day. Week after grueling week. Then month after month... We have no idea what it was like to live it; I only observed from a distance, never as her parents.

I am especially mindful of similar struggles as we enter into the waiting, suffering and praying with others who are recovering from brain surgery and fighting back cancer among our close friends. To have compassion is to enter into suffering, and nothing parts the curtains like prayer. Prayer exposes suffering. 

Once exposed and made aware, we have a choice to make: Do we have empathy enough to take on another's burdens,  or do we merely stay informed about their status? Is it all about our convenience or about the others' needs? Compassion enables us to experience a portion of the shared burden when we willingly embrace the journey with another. Compassion is a mystery in the making.

I only wrote. I commented. I prayed. I hugged Larry. But I never met Nicole. I was merely a bystander, one of the masses, and I'm not proud of that as I realize that Nicole is standing with me today.

But there she is before me, and I know: I am in the presence of a miracle! A walking, dancing, speaking miracle of determination, guts and Grace of God.

My children know that I've always wanted to be a dancer. But today the real dancer entered stage right and let me rejoice in her spectacular role in this chapter of Nicole's life. It may not be the life she thought she prepared for, but it is the life she is fully prepared to live. Nicole is still bearing witness to the truth of her original rallying cry: You can't stop this dancer!

The day ends with thanksgiving for healing mercies for Nicole and for others among us for whom we pray faithfully. Let us not be too busy to share what we have, for the Lord God will multiply whatever we offer making it sufficient. I believe it. Our limited resources--time, money, talent--invested in God's economy produce an incalculable yield. There's no stopping it!

Thanks be to God.

How Big is Your Boat?

But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things...
(Luke 10:41)

Have you been in that place, the place of busyness, of doing too much and--it seems--none of it well? Ever felt that you might not be able to do all that needs to be done? I have been dwelling in that place lately, not merely passing through in the past few weeks. Though I cast off the label of worrier and do not claim to fret or worry habitually, I acknowledge there are some seasons of life where the mounting needs to be met and concerns to be prayed over cast a huge shadow, dwarfing my limited ability to get the job done. We can easily feel overwhelmed, especially at the peak of the busiest season of the year at work.

What we call the holiday season is really the perfect storm.

This post-holiday let down is a common phenomenon, if that were merely all it is. It happens to everyone. But this is not about holidays at all, as I see it. It is Real Life. Life comes to us as a gentle breeze at times, lifting us and caressing us along the way, and with a storm's fury at others. Part of the rhythmic ebb and flow we can expect.

We must shift gears, adjusting to the demands to be met. And if we are wise, we will adjust our expectations of ourselves. That can be the hardest part.

I've written about jettisoning excess baggage to lighten our load when our boat feels too small to weather the storm. Get rid of non-essentials. Cut out something. As we go into a new year, that admonition rings true again as good advice.

As I am walking alongside a friend with a life-threatening disease, I will not let my whining about busyness and fatigue gain so much as a foothold. I will keep it in check, I promise. But we must be honest wherever we find ourselves, and live authentically out of our present situation--whatever it is. "Do not compare yourself with others. There will always be someone.....[thinner, richer, sicker, better, faster, healthier...]," is an oft-quoted directive that springs to mind here.

That is one thing that needs to go: comparison. It only invites envy or self-pity. Either is toxic to the soul. So, out it goes. My boat is too small to hold anything that feeds the flesh- and soul-eating bacteria of envy or allows for self-absorbed feelings.

If we take only one step toward lightening the load and making life's journey manageable today, may we cast off anything that causes us to look upon others with jealousy or envy because of what they appear to have that we do not. Sounds so simple, doesn't it? We do not think of ourselves as jealous people, I am sure. And that is just what makes envy and covetousness so universal and slippery for us. Just when we say we do not have a problem with something, we just got a problem with it; we set ourselves up for a match with the master of deception. Watch and see how such a practice can weave through our conversations and our actions during the course of a week, allowing us the chance to let it go.

My mother says it often and lives it well: Let it go. It's one of many gems we have learned from her.

No matter the size of our boat, it is sufficient to contain the One who will never leave us nor forsake us in the storm of life. His grace is sufficient when our abilities fail. Thanks be to God!

We may find ourselves in that place of being worried and distracted about many things, as referenced in the scripture above, on multiple occasions. If not for ourselves, we may experience such turmoil alongside others who are weathering tough times.

Storms of discouragement, disease and doubt slam into us at the most unexpected times ravaging our 'boats'.

Financial and relational struggles slash our sails.

High winds and turbulence toss us about leaving us fearful and wounded.

Where is the joy? Where is the peace in all this?

We've heard it said before: Those who try to anchor to position, prestige and power will drift away because those things cannot supply ultimate security and protection. They never have. They may only appear to do so. And how frustrating to see one spend a lifetime navigating the sea of Other People's Opinions only to find it leads nowhere.

...There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:42

Storms may batter, winds may blow, the sails may be torn, but the anchor holds! We have hope.

Reminds me of an old hymn from my childhood:
"In times like these you need a savior.
In times like these you need an anchor.
Be very sure, Be very sure, Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock.

That Rock is Jesus
Yes, He's the one,
That Rock is Jesus
The only one
Be very sure.
Be very sure,
Your anchor holds
And grips the Solid Rock."

Passing Through the Waters

Torrential rains soaked most of the U.S. yesterday, and all of that water has to find a way to do what water does best: seek its lowest point. I took out my phone and snapped this shot of a beautiful rushing waterfall atop Lookout Mountain. No framing, no composition. Truly a snapshot to help me remember a beautiful sight.

The woodsy fragrance of wet, densely-packed leaves and the powerfully soothing sounds of rushing water tumbling over ancient boulders reminded me of summers from many years ago on that mountain. Days were simpler as junior high campers hiked in the early morning hours and shaped canned biscuit dough around a green stick to cook over an open fire before filling the cooked 'dough boy' with butter and jelly. The laughter of girls permeated the patchwork of memories woven into these woods near Camp DeSoto. 

Boys, too, have claimed a stake on Lookout Mountain since the 1950's at Alpine Camp, and countless young people have been blessed by spending summers on the mountain. I have traveled this road many times since 1967, and the sights and sounds of running water brought back an album of mental images. I am thankful to visit that familiar place again.

The relentless pounding of water created cascades high above the road we traveled yesterday and and carved channels underneath it as well, with sparkling rivulets streaming in unexpected places. I marveled that the entire road bed had not been washed off the side of the mountain after all these years. How can it endure the onslaught of high winds and rain season after season? Yet, people make their way up and down it every day.

Sometimes we get to experience life's blessings as a trickling mountain stream, nonthreatening and beautiful to behold. A running brook moves peacefully, lulling us into some expectation that all of life should run that way. It doesn't. 

Life comes at us with a storm's fury on occasions. Learning to accept our lot, our portion that we encounter, with courage and grace is a goal I press toward daily. When we find ourselves in the midst of a storm may we take heart. It is common to feel overwhelmed and unable to keep our footing when the path we've known before seems to be shifting under the weight of each new step.

Timeless words come to mind as signposts for the journey. Isaiah 43 and 2 Corinthians provide meaningful bookends to shore up a road bed that threatens to weaken underfoot. Take a fresh look:

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Isaiah 43: 1-3 ESV

But we have this treasure in jars of clay,
to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.
We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed;
perplexed, but not driven to despair;
persecuted, but not forsaken;
struck down, but not destroyed...
So we do not lose heart.
Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:7-9, 16-18 ESV

Passing through the waters.....What a picture that presents.

I only drove through the waters today, but the days will come when we will experience this expression in a different way. May our God strengthen us as we grow in faith and learn to trust in God's provision along the way.

We have the promise of God's own Presence! Amen.

Beauty in Unusual Places

Earth's crammed with heaven, And every common bush afire with God: But only he who sees takes off his shoes.

- Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806 - 1861)

Elizabeth Barrett Browning was asked by her husband how she felt as she was dying.

"Beautiful," she replied, her last word. She died in his arms in Florence where he tended her alone.

Inventor Thomas Alva Edison said just before his death in 1931, "It's very beautiful over there."

Beautiful. Can it be?

There is a great mystery in dying that has gotten my attention in recent years. A favorite book, Final Gifts by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelly, is an important guide and resource for those suddenly thrust upon the final-illness scene; yet it is even better if we have no such prospect looming but simply want to live with greater understanding of a topic we generally like to keep far away from us.

Written by two hospice nurses who speak from experience of thousands of deaths, Final Gifts acknowledges that while each person's death is distinctly one's own, there are patterns and stages common to most that we likely will experience.

Preparation for dying draws me - not in a macabre or gruesome way - but with a spiritual intensity that longs to be prepared physically and emotionally as well. I have shared this pursuit with others who are facing near-death situations themselves. Yes, tennis might have been a more pleasant hobby, but for this season (and for the past number of years) death bids me to take a closer look.

Each of us will experience death and dying of those dear to us, perhaps many times over our lifetime. While I would choose to wedge the door shut if that would keep the unwelcome intruder at bay, I want to learn from those who have experienced this aspect of our shared humanity. I want to be as prepared as possible for a possibly incomprehensible loss.

I say I do not fear death. (I have yet to be fully tested on this hypothesis, you understand.) I do, however, fear grief, and I dread living without the presence and companionship of those we love. I have named my fears, and grief is at the top of the list.

Death is a part of life, an essential stage of moving from this life to the Life we cannot glimpse until we pass its threshold. We are not kidding ourselves to avoid it, or to act as though it might not happen to us. But it need not have the last word.

I believe there is an inaudible 'beautiful' that awaits us as well.

A young Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote,

"There are so many mercies close around me that God's being seems proved to me, demonstrated to me, by His manifested love."

That loving presence would be tested a few days later when she learned of the death of her only brother, Edward, in a sailing accident with friends. She had parted with him with 'pettish words' on the day he left, and her grief was complicated by her intense remorse over that unreconciled quarrel. For years she could not hear of the sea or of her brother because of the lingering anguish she felt.

Only later in life did she write,

"Once I wished not to live, but the faculty of life seems to have sprung up in me again from under the crushing foot of heavy grief. Be it all as God wills."

She is not alone in expressing such a sentiment. Grief is oppressive. It settles in for a season - maybe a long season of drought and barrenness of spirit. The fog hangs even heavier when embedded within it is guilt for harsh words exchanged, or forgiveness withheld, or unexpressed love and appreciation. We long for the opportunity to settle emotional accounts.

The faith I embrace gives perspective that all do not share, I realize. Chief within it is the call to love and to forgive. Forgiveness is not easy, and it is not optional. But it does go a long way in resolving conflict and easing the burden we bear after last words are spoken.

Everyone has struggles and challenges, even those who appear to live a lovely life. Elizabeth's subsequent love for and marriage to Robert Browning is a 19th century love story that would inspire millions today, but their life together was not easy. Her father had forbidden his daughters to marry - a prospect that terrified and saddened them - and, though Browning thought he could speak openly with her father about the stance and persuade him otherwise, Elizabeth knew her father's edict to be firm, and they eloped. She pleaded for reconciliation with her father for the rest of his life, but he refused to speak with her and later returned all her letters to him, unopened - a final insult, it seems to me.

She knew something about suffering. Her mother and brother had died early in life; her poor health kept her confined to a room. She could not walk. Robert carried her up stairs or across the brooks near their home. She experienced real life: satisfying life and love mixed with unreconciled issues, family conflicts, and lifelong grief. And yet she could express devotion to God and rest in God's provision even though her life was filled with hardships to endure.

And she called it beautiful.

I want to know what is true....what is bedrock...what is helpful on this part of the journey....and I pray that God will guide through shared experiences and from impressions of the Spirit on this quest to live life to the fullest and to face the end of this life with courage and grace in the presence of the Lord.

God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:15

Be strengthened in the Lord if you are facing an uncertain road ahead. Know that you are not alone. May we see 'common bushes afire' with God's loving Presence and have spiritual eyes to see something beautiful beyond our sight.

Be Prepared

New year prompts so far:
Keep in touch.
Learn something new.
Today, be prepared.

That phrase is not the exclusive domain of the Girls Scouts and Boy Scouts, though they do a pretty good job at instilling the value of the motto in many languages around the world. I first learned it as a nine year old camping at Camp Wahi, and - like much of what we know first - it keeps coming back to me. Learning to plan for the expected and unexpected alike is a life skill we need to refresh.

We find ourselves squarely in the winter storm watch across the deep South today, and it is a good time to assess our collective preparedness. Warnings of extensive power outages scroll across the red bar of the TV screen as meteorologists rise to the occasion of their ratings highs. The frustrating experience of bursting water mains in this city during deep freezes has taught us to fill bathtubs with water and to keep frozen jugs of water available for both personal use and to keep cold foods frozen without power. We take inventory of the essentials we have on hand and know how we can meet the needs of family members when our usual means of operating are interrupted. These periodic check ups are a nuisance to some, but are helpful to sharpen our survival skills, lest we become lazy and forget how to live without coffeemakers, hairdryers and microwaves. Perish the thought.

A man visiting from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania today surely found it humorous to observe Mississippians in near-crisis mode as he heard about the imminent ice storm with predictions of 30 degree temps and as much as 1/2 inch ice accumulation. He had to laugh. Grocery shelves had been picked clean of water and staples, as well as the ingredients for snow ice cream (after all, we do not get snow very often, and the kids may not get another chance this year.) Then it occurred to me that beyond weather, a crisis is relative.

What may topple my equilibrium and send me tumbling may not even be enough to tip the balance of your harmonious life. One's orange alert crisis state can be merely another's routine way of relating to life - of living with low-grade crises so much that it is the norm. The sharp edges wear down with repeated exposure and pain becomes tolerable. They do not even recognize signs of a heightened alert situation because the numbing effect of its omnipresence has made them blind to the danger embedded in it. I have counseled women who have failed to see the signs of abusive husbands and dangerous family situations because they had so lowered their expectations that they no longer hoped for a changed relationship... until one day when there arises a tipping point that cries out for self preservation.

What is our crisis threshold?

We have no meteorological forecasts giving us a ten day personal outlook or an hour by hour satellite picture of how our lives will unfold. There may be no audible warning alerts sounding on city streets to advise of our approaching disastrous decisions. We must gain our early warning system alerts from other sources - consider wise counsel and prayer - and be prepared to act before and during a crisis.

We do know that storms and trials will come to each of us, so we can be prepared.

• Have essentials on hand. What really matters? What is the spiritual equivalent of food, clothing and shelter to each of us?
  
• Live with a working knowledge of how to cope when life gets challenging; it will.
  
• Know why faith, hope and love endure.
  
• Keep relationships in good repair.
  
• Practice learning to live with contentment irrespective of our circumstances.
  
• It is still a pretty good idea to be cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent.

Dear God of new beginnings and Ancient of Days, instruct us in the way of wisdom as we begin another year with You. Teach us what is essential in the faith we share. Give us understanding, and calm our anxious hearts as we follow You. Inspire us to be prepared as we grow in faith and give an account of the faith that is within us as You strengthen us. May we trade lives of quiet desperation for Your peace that abides and dwells richly within us. We pray in the name of the risen Christ, Amen.