A Way With Words

Our mind is a garden, our thoughts are the seeds
The harvest can be either flowers or weeds.
~ Author unknown


Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
~ Philippians 4:8

I am beginning a new study this week for young moms in our group focusing on the words we use and harnessing the power we possess in our speech. Harnessing, not stifling. As in:

Now if we put the horses' bridles into their mouths, that they may obey us, we turn about their whole body also.
~James 3:3

Never doubt that something as simple as talking can have such lasting effects in the lives of others. As we habitually speak words that heal, teach, affirm, instruct, guide and delight, we learn to make conscious choices about our words which then become a natural outpouring of what is in our hearts. Likewise, words of condemnation, of name-calling, labeling and blaming wound the heart and linger in the mind long after they are spoken.

Our challenge is to learn something new about how we take appropriate responsibility for this dynamic and grow in faithfulness as we mature. We want to reduce the collateral damage from our speech and live life with fewer regrets. This is one small topic but large area of life that meets us daily where we live.

It's all about choices. Let us take responsibility for our choices and not be content with the childish, "That's just the way I am" excuse.



All photos copyright by Rob Kiser, used with permission.

You are smart, You are kind, You are important.

Words of affirmation have the power to satisfy thirsty souls. Like dipping water from a cool spring to parched lips, such words refresh and revive our spirits. But there are other warring words within...


Voices of insecurity cast a spell over us. They nearly hypnotize us with their deceitful whispers of doubt. We doubt our value, our abilities.

They can paralyze us into inactivity.

We stop trying.

We start believing the lies:

"I can't do this."

I am reading A Confident Heart by Renee Swope and look forward to this fall's discussion group centering on this guide to understand 'how to stop doubting yourself and live into the security of God's promises,' as the subtitle records.

There is a movie scene I saw last night that plays into this line of thought. Aibileen, lead role in The Help, serves up food for the soul. She practices speaking words of affirmation into the little heart and mind of Mae Mobley. Not empty flattery or comments about her appearance or her clothing, her words go straight to the character of the child, repeatedly addressing her kindness, intellect and importance or value.

This mantra is intended to inculcate a sense of self confidence. They also become her parting words. We don't get a second chance to make a last impression, so we give it our best shot.


What would it be like to have someone in our lives repeat those words into our ears?

Would it help us live up to the highest standards of behavior, exhibiting selflessness, generosity, kindness, courage, forgiveness other virtues in our relationships?

Would we grasp that we are loved for who we are and not for what we do?

Just knowing that someone believes the best in us gives us a huge head start. Mothers, parents, teachers and others who are in positions to convey this powerful gift of the blessing, cannot imagine the extent of the ripples of their words. Our words have the power to cripple and have the power to heal. Words expressed cannot be un-spoken.

God's words for us on the subject of our value stand ready to pour like blessings over our heads.

You are precious and honored in my sight...and I love you. Isaiah 43:4

Say it again.

Such words stand as a counterpoint to the daily whispers of doubt that emerge within us, challenging us to strain to hear the still, small voice of One Who loves us with an everlasting love.

Gentleness

"Be gentle when you touch bread." Sister Schubert

Gathered around the kitchen island of my aunt Mary Lou on a picturesque fall ballgame weekend, and perusing the tantalizing cookbook by Sister Schubert (yes, she is real), my eyes fell on the inscription in the author's handwriting. Sister offers her actual recipes for rolls without which few southern holidays would be complete, including step by step photos intended to make this operation a tasty success with rank amateurs. I have yet to give it a whirl, but that will be for another day. I kept thinking back to the message inside the cover: "Be gentle when you touch bread", as it lingered in my mind.

The care and feeding of sourdough starter has been one of my favorite baking experiences. There is something primal... earthy... even soul-satisfying about handling smooth wooden bowls and olive wood spoons, and kneading, then shaping bread loaves. I stopped four years ago when the starter died and am convicted to grow some more. Hold me to it.

Getting the hang of kneading without punching out the necessary air pockets was an important step. My hands learned what to do in response to the touch of the dough as though some unknown vestigial organ remembered from generations of women who had baked their bread cakes on hot stones. I found it warmly therapeutic - a healing touch in a busy day.

My mother still says, "use a light touch" when baking. She - decades ago - showed us how to fold gently when combining ingredients - not to stir furiously. "That makes muffins or biscuits tough." And so I pass kitchen wisdom along to my daughters.

Here's the trifecta for wisdom from the kitchen today, another related admonition:

"A gentle word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

The power of gentle words to shape a heart and spirit cannot be overstated. Are not hearts of children and relationships with people of infinitely more value than a loaf of bread? A harsh tone of voice and the use of sarcasm and criticism are means of delivering mortal blows to a developing self in a child. Saying hurtful things but laughing while doing so sends mixed signals. Humor can be a selfish attempt by the speaker to weaken the sting of damaging words, yet hiding behind that 'just kidding' excuse is still a school yard bully of any age seeking to be let off the hook.

A gentle touch is the way of wisdom. I am committed to cast off old habits which might toughen our response to others. I long to have a tender heart that senses what kind of touch is needed and a willing, yielded spirit to help direct my words. O, Lord, make the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart acceptable in Your sight, for You are my Strength and my Redeemer.

http://www.castyourbreaduponthewaters.com/ for Sister Schubert's new Addy award winning book.