Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

“I’m very flexible; I just don’t like change,” my father in law says frequently through smiling eyes. 


David Bowie sang about it in 1971 with “Changes”:

“Lookout you rock n rollers,

Pretty soon you’re gonna get a little older.

Time may change me, but I can’t trace time.”

Embracing change is a tall task for many of us. 

The artistry of God paints October blue skies arching over a world both abounding in autumn beauty and moving headlong into winter. Shadows lengthen. The sun moves into the southern sky. Harvest festivals morph into winter landscapes. Signs of change are all around.

Seasons of life move through predictable patterns as well, try as we may to hold them at bay.

Living in the shadow of loss is a change that comes to us all.

For some, the sadness over what is overshadows the gratitude of what was. 

Reclaiming gratitude offers a solace all its own, one worth cultivating if we are out of practice. 

How to build in time for gratitude, some ask, when their days are frantic and fleeting? 

Busyness can keep us in turbulence tricking us into being victims in an out-of-control life, while others long for something to keep them busy and engaged with life.
 It may depend as much as one’s attitude as one’s season of life.

 I remember the obviously pregnant young woman who shopped in our store late one November afternoon.
Betty greeted her warmly, "I know we're not supposed to do this, but -- when?"

"Tomorrow!" The cute mom-to-be in the purple sweater practically exhaled the word.

Her Christmas shopping days were over. She had finished her list. Now the hard work begins. Her anxiety was palpable.

When young moms ask, “Will my life ever get back to normal?" I answer encouragingly, "Yes. But normal is different now."

Nothing stays the same. 

Life is dynamic, always changing. We learn to adapt, if we are wise, rather than to cling to what was.
Sometimes we think we are overloaded and stressed during a season of life, only to discover later that we had not yet begun to know overload. That stress, however, was all we could handle at the time.

Then we learn that we can do hard things. 

We grow the way most living things do: by stretching. We must stretch for each season of life brings its own challenges. How do we prepare for them?

1. Seek wise counsel. Read. This includes learning from those who have gone before. We need not reinvent the wheel. Yet some part of us still utters that toddler’s cry, “I can do it all by myself.”

2. Pray. This reminds me of the instruction on every shampoo bottle I have held since the ‘60s: shampoo, lather, rinse, repeat. One would think that we'd get it by now. 

The call to prayer is always present. You might think that we'd get it by now, too. Yet, rather than as a first line of defense and a forward strike against a threat, prayer often becomes our last resort.

So in any season of life when we think we cannot tackle another challenge, we need to know we are capable of greater things. We just cannot do it all alone. And we never have to. The promise of God's word is that God will never leave us nor forsake us. 

Each of us faces certain change in an uncertain future but we do not do it alone.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Hebrews 13:5-6
For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we may boldly say: "The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?

Tricks They Play with Numbers

They say five times as many people read a headline as read the article, so baiting the hook is key to increasing screen clicks and readership. Have you, too, tired of cheap tricks embedded in headlines beckoning for our attention?

They do it because it works. A quick search reveals a simple headline-writing formula to hook us: 
Number or Trigger word + Adjective + Keyword + Promise.

10 Nutrients that Shrink Your Belly

3 Foods You Should Never Eat

4 Things Never to Buy at Trader Joe's.

10 Things Your Doctor won't tell you about an MRI.

So Five Easy Steps to Deliver Readers is the game. Sound familiar?

Stephen Covey gave us 7 Habits of Highly Successful People 15 years ago. In the past two decades, countless titles have followed in his highly successful footsteps.

I refuse to take the bait and pass up most such headlines. No one really has that kind of time. But this morning, having seen many variations on a theme of "14 most powerful literary quotes," I succumbed.

Because I find inspiration in words, not numbers, I trolled into this potential deep well. Uplifting words that encourage the disquieted soul, or words that speak of beauty and strength and resilience in the face of struggle--these are words that draw us in and have the power to sustain for the long haul. I’m not looking for an easy answer, for a bumper sticker for the heart.

I'm taking about words that linger long after those quick-tricks-for-clicks fail and search engine optimization mutates into the next new thing.

Quotations serve a purpose as shorthand directing us to a source for further reading. Quick quotes can be reduced to trite sayings when listed as top ten favorites and out of context. But I took the bait and jotted a couple:

"They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered.”

― F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise

Jump start a book with that line and I’m hooked. We—male and female if we could be honest—long for such a connection, such intimacy. Not flowery romanticism or superficial trappings that masquerade as love, but the rock-solid knowing and being accepted for who we are.

The rarity of that intimacy and Fitzgerald’s expression of it held me for a moment.
 
In true southern fashion, we claim kin to several in this literary slice of Americana. F. Scott’s Zelda was an Alabama girl and longtime friend of H.L. Mencken’s wife, Sara, who was the Montgomery sister of our family’s uncle Johnny. So we’re practically related.

While the capital of the Confederacy was marching from Montgomery to Richmond in 1861, Charles Dickens wrote his own words that made the list:

“I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.”

― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

              (Estella and Pip. Illustration by F. A. Fraser, Household Edition of Great Expectations, 1877. Public domain.)

There is the theme again.

We may remember a few timeless words a bit older.

 “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loves us.” 

The list of calamities against which love endures is long and winding and appears variously in Romans 8:35-39 and elsewhere.

Everything gets recycled with a twist; everyone gets credited with originality when there is nothing new under the sun. So say both William Shakespeare and the writer of Ecclesiastes. 

Paulo Coelho, for example, wrote in The Alchemist, "Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure."

“Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" was credited from the Harry Potter series.

More ancient is the writing in Matthew 6:21, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”

Matthew's citation did not make the internet list,  but there’s hope. It meets the two-prong test: theme of love and posted with numbers. The allure of love is deeper still than the lure of numbers in a headline.

Emerging to a New Life

Beginnings and endings surround us on December 31. It's what we do, this year in review scrolling past anywhere we look.

Some send the old year out with glitter, bubbles and flashing lights. It's all about the flash, even if for a day. 

For others, it's more about the flashback, the reminder that things are not as we had expected. Forget the fireworks or watching the ball drop in Times Square. For some, each day is a painful reminder of how we've dropped the ball in our responsibilities, our relationships. 

We yearn for new beginnings.

We want to believe change is possible. 

Remember the movie, "It's a Wonderful Life?" We know how the story ends, yet millions tune in each year to see George Bailey's transformation. George's character debuted in 1946, nearly 70 years ago. How refreshing that popular culture still allows space to air the movie and call it relevant. But I suspect that clock is ticking on old George. What film is waiting in the wings to take its place and pick up the story for new generations?

 Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?                  

          ~ Clarence to George Bailey in "It's a Wonderful Life"

My mother says it slightly differently when asked about her life:

"I wouldn't change a thing. Because if you change one thing, you change everything."

So true.

Bidding farewell to a year sinking into history reminds me that I did not pen or type much upon these pages in Meditations in the Night Watch lately. I may make time to do more next year. I surely hope so, because doing so gives me the chance to explore and think and write from a place that needs exercising in my life. My soul needs exercising more than triceps or abs or anything else that fills the pages I am seeing in media  touting the importance of self-improvement in the new year.

Lists abound telling us the Best of 2014. More lists offer resolutions and solutions for 2015. One year is not done before the new one is already skewered and readied for improvement. Beginnings and endings keep turning around on the spit.

Beginnings and endings.....Birth and death. Whether we are ready or not, they keep coming.

I continue to be wonderstruck by the similarities shared by these seemingly-opposite life events. Perhaps human birth and death do not occupy opposing ends of a linear continuum as we often think. Perhaps that line arcs, bending gently into a circle of life. 

I think so.

2014 has brought the birth of precious ones in my life and has delivered many loved ones into 'the land of no more tears', as I read one brave dying woman call the end of life. It has been a great year, and I am grateful to have lived another one surrounded by family and friends. Most of all I am grateful for the Presence of God who loves with an everlasting love and holds fast the faithfulness we offer imperfectly. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for saving grace and abundant mercy you extend. 

In a world of changing times and rolling calendars, how good it is to count on the steadfastness of the love of God. Such an assurance gives confidence as we face a new day of life and death and life beyond death.

If your body is no longer serving you well, step out of it and go on with life.
~ Barbara Brown Taylor

Go on with life--Abundant Life.

Lessons from Tumbled Stones

The stones are still there, sloped-shouldered chunks of their former grandeur lying in Olympia. Smoothed by time, water and wind, the rough edges are made plain. The elements have a way of doing a number on us as well, with repeated exposure to sun, wind and rain. 

Do we grow smooth in response -- adapt and overcome? -- or toughen and tighten our way through life?

I had the chance to visit this landscape in the 70s and again a few years ago. In 35 years, the rocks were not perceptibly changed; the country of Greece, however, was transformed from its provincial self into a cousin of its former self: it bore the marks of family resemblance but no longer showed its distinctive local identity. Cable television, I am told, was the thief in the night.

Cable and satellite TV fed the desire to have what others are having, eating and wearing. There was no turning back. The temptation to live the good life American TV shows portrayed was everywhere. Suddenly, it seemed the old ways were not enough. The old way of life had lost its value to a new generation. 

Taking in scenes above from tumbled stones in Olympia and visiting the elegant carved marble sculptures of Achilles remind me that thousands of years ago, men and women sought wisdom, pleasure, heroes and significance from a myriad of places, as we do today. The ancients did not need TV to generate their entertainment; they lived among heroes and gods. 

Just as in the story of Achilles, each of us has a place of vulnerability. We may stand strong only to fall unexpectedly when pierced in that place. Vigilance is essential. The attack may come to us dressed as temptation or as an assault by fear, reducing us to rubble.

How to protect oneself from attack in the vulnerable places requires a heightened NORAD-like awareness of us and our surroundings. I’m speaking personally, not militarily, though the NORAD emblem of wings encircling the globe with a well-placed sword centered over North America is an interesting visual that could be a graphic designer’s take on an old hymn. The point is one that scouting still teaches: Be prepared.

Be prepared.

Gird yourself.

Anticipate needs and work to meet them.

Don’t live life on autopilot.

Be fully present.

Live with gratitude for what we have, not with an eye on our deficits.

Life is not “set it and forget it.” The gift of life still calls us to respond daily, I believe, with focus on the needs of each day.

Temptations come to us in that heel of vulnerability. That which never was a temptation in one season of life can become a strong desire when we least expect it. One whose radar is down, if you will, becomes easy prey.

When we say smugly, “I don’t have a problem with that,” we just got a problem with that. Anything. Credit card debt? Infidelity? Deceit of any kind? Dishonesty? I believe that when we set ourselves up as master over anything, when we say pridefully what we would never do, take cover: We just put ourselves in a place to be tested, perhaps to experience an encounter that helps reveal our character.

It may not be apparent for a long time, but stay alert. Temptation comes to us looking alluring, appealing, not as broken and twisted, for that would be too easy to recognize. It only becomes tempting when offering something we want. Temptation has a long fuse and a long memory. It may wait until a more opportune time to return. It is an old story made new every day, but one to be faced, not feared.

 Fear is that Achilles heel for many. Fear shows up as a debilitating dread that holds some in its clutches. Fear of failing, fear of not measuring up to others' expectations, fear of intimacy--the list continues--with a paralyzing result in not fully living this life we have been given.

We were not made for a half-hearted attempt at life. There is freedom from the bondage of fear and from the destructive arrows piercing our vulnerable selves, and it comes to us through love.

I have read that the opposite of fear is not courage; it is faith. I find that faith generates courage as well.

 “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” I John 4:18

"No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it." I Corinthians 10:13

The Christian has the heavenly Father’s help in resisting temptation. God is faithful.

"...But with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it."  If temptation is common to all, it is wise to consider the way out. But the way out may be like that Bear Hunt: sometimes we have to go through it. The way through it--the various trials in our lifetimes--is the way of endurance. 

Endurance is not merely the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.  William Barclay 

First Aid by Ear

“What first aid treatment in shock is administered by ear?”

I read these words in Cutting for Stone, expressing Abraham Verghese's lingering question that echoes long after I read it.

The answer is one every first responder needs to know: words of comfort.

Words of comfort speak directly into the heart and soul as first aid for the weary. Words of comfort--like friends who show up with good food-- are welcome anywhere. While reassuring words may not change our circumstances, they remain an audible reminder that we are not alone.

New parents are advised to soothe their newborns with a shushing sound directly into the ear. Whispering with gentle cooing has a role, but not for this practice. No, “Hush, Chile” from the old days will suffice here.  The modern shushing technique must be loud enough to transmit the rushing wind sound over the baby's distress to induce calm and security. It works.

It all goes back to what we know first: That primal, pulsing, whooshing that surrounded the baby before birth continues to bring comfort when applied to soothe.

Hmmm, rushing wind. Pulsing breaths. Something sounds familiar.

The ancient Hebrew word for both spirit and breath is Ruah. "Breathe on me breath of God"..... Y-H-W-H. The sound of many waters. Images flood my mind as I give it line and let it run free.

We encounter God in various ways. I have experienced God's greatest revelation in Jesus Christ, and also I remember God is said to speak in the sound of thunder (Psalm 18 and Psalm 29) and in the sound of rushing waters (Ezekiel 43:2 and Revelation 1:9-19). Some may dismiss the value of these references as simple poetic devices in ancient literature, but I am on the side of the psalmist and prophets: they offer a picture of God's speaking words of comfort administered by ear into the heart of a distressed child.



The holy hush.

God whispers above the cacophony of the world, above the tumult within, to calm and soothe and to remind us that we are always—always – God’s beloved.

Sometimes we may experience a gentle but firm shushing in a new way that gets our attention. We may have occasion to sense a whisper of sorts loudly enough to be felt and heard over the tumult where we live.

When we, like the fretful, inconsolable infant, most need reassurance and redirection, we may experience a fresh resonant Presence that surrounds us even in the midst of our ordinary lives. This caress of the Spirit that never leaves us nor forsakes us reminds me that I never doubted Jesus for a moment, only myself.

We will all have fretful days and fitful nights.

Life casts us into seas of turmoil that challenge our notions about safe harbors and security. Our brushes with crises, whether health, family or financial; marital breakdown; heartache and loss of many kinds all threaten to overtake us and drag us in the undertow. Even when we know to expect such difficulties as a part of life, they can take us by storm and by surprise when they make landfall at our doorstep.

 But it came to me clearly upon waking in the wee hours one morning, this holy hush.

And it came among the promises of the Lord to attend to us even in the night.

“When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watch because You have been my help; therefore in the shadow of Your wings, I will rejoice.” (Psalm 63:6, 7)

“The Lord God has given me the tongue of one who has been taught, that I may know how to sustain with a word the one who is weary. Morning by morning He awakens my ear to hear as the student, as one who is taught.” (Isaiah 50:4)

“…How to sustain with a word the one who is weary.” There it is again: words of comfort.  First aid by ear. 

Each of us is a first responder in someone’s life. We need to know where to turn in times of crisis ourselves and how to initiate first aid for others. To give a warm embrace accompanied by caring words requires no special training or certification. The effect, much like swaddling a newborn to keep arms from flailing in distress, will begin to soothe a frantic soul. 

"The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever" (Isaiah 40:8).

“He strengthens the weary and increases the power of the weak. He renews the strength of those who hope in Him” (Isaiah 40:29-31).

Darrell Creswell's image used with permission.