Working the Night Shift

"ғaiтнleѕѕ iѕ нe тнaт ѕayѕ ғarewell wнen тнe road darĸenѕ." J. R. R. Tolkien

Tolkien and his contemporary, C. S. Lewis, brilliantly used the ancient means of story to transport truth to children and adults alike. They infused their works with images and narratives that blend reason and the vivid imagination for which each is known, conferring on their characters the power to communicate ideas of faith. In looking at the world around them they sought flashes of insight into what they saw as the fundamental nature of things.

Fundamental. What is fundamental anymore?

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are among the unalienable rights mentioned in the Declaration of Independence.  We seem to have elevated achieving perpetual happiness to the gold medal position on the podium. Many strive to maintain the illusion of happiness and success, as though any alternative is tantamount to failure.

We may coast through some days in life, but sooner or later we are put on the night shift.  The night shift--that season when life presents what we never dreamed would happen or that which we feared to face.

Our days and nights are not our own anymore on the night shift. They’ve been usurped, taken captive by that new thing, that no longer mythical monster that holds us in its grip. Cancer does it for some. Any sudden interruption of our lives will do this.

Crises have a way of reordering our priorities. They reveal our character. They give us the chance to step up to the podium and present ourselves authentically as wounded but walking, as pierced but persevering. We may choose to be honest and press on, accepting this new life experience as an opportunity to grow—to grow in ways we would rather not but find we must. But we need help, companions on the journey.

"O Lord, do not be far from me," the psalmist says.

There is so much about sickness and pain we do not understand. C. S. Lewis wrote from his deep loss about suffering and its value. Some would dismiss the refining fire of suffering as pure myth, but not Lewis. The witness of many is that we experience redeeming grace during what I call the night shift.

We may never understand suffering; I can accept that as a limitation of our human condition. But there are some things we can know as bedrock:
That God is always good.
That God is always loving.

May I dare say that suffering is one of those things that is transformative when we encounter it: We are changed in it. Fundamentally. I have come to believe it, but do I have the guts to write it here, in this place where I am sitting up writing in the night watch feeling healthy while some of our friends or family members are in the fight of their lives? How dare I say such without sounding glib and utterly insensitive?

Because I have seen it done. Writers give us examples to point to a truth until we may accept it for ourselves; Real life examples shine brightly for me.

I have seen the example up close when a friend chose to allow God to move in her life in the presence of intense suffering and pain. She gave us glimpses of grace, pictures of what suffering looks like over a period of years.  She remained full of grace and faithfulness because she refused to give into bitterness. She denied a place for the bitter seed to take root every time it raised its persistent tendril. I want to face adversity like that!

For the faithful, that's what we do: 

We carry the Light when the road gets dark. 

We hold the lantern for one another.  

We learn to walk faithfully the path we have even when we would rather take another road of our own choosing.

In prayer we can freely offer the desires of our heart and then trust in God's provision. The trusting part can be hardest. It is the task of a lifetime. And it is not the American way of self-sufficiency and prideful independence. But when we understand another bedrock truth—that God is always trustworthy—we can rest in the care of the One who created us and loves us and will never let us go.  

Offer God our pain and broken dreams when the road is dark. Pain only festers when buried and denied.

Offer suffering so that it is shared, and then we can learn how to bear it. “Pain that is not transformed is pain transferred,” writes Fr. Richard Rohr. We pass it on.

Pursuing happiness for itself is ephemeral, not fundamental. The love of God is deep and wide, reaching to times and places we do not see and holding us fast in the embrace.

First Aid by Ear

“What first aid treatment in shock is administered by ear?”

I read these words in Cutting for Stone, expressing Abraham Verghese's lingering question that echoes long after I read it.

The answer is one every first responder needs to know: words of comfort.

Words of comfort speak directly into the heart and soul as first aid for the weary. Words of comfort--like friends who show up with good food-- are welcome anywhere. While reassuring words may not change our circumstances, they remain an audible reminder that we are not alone.

New parents are advised to soothe their newborns with a shushing sound directly into the ear. Whispering with gentle cooing has a role, but not for this practice. No, “Hush, Chile” from the old days will suffice here.  The modern shushing technique must be loud enough to transmit the rushing wind sound over the baby's distress to induce calm and security. It works.

It all goes back to what we know first: That primal, pulsing, whooshing that surrounded the baby before birth continues to bring comfort when applied to soothe.

Hmmm, rushing wind. Pulsing breaths. Something sounds familiar.

The ancient Hebrew word for both spirit and breath is Ruah. "Breathe on me breath of God"..... Y-H-W-H. The sound of many waters. Images flood my mind as I give it line and let it run free.

We encounter God in various ways. I have experienced God's greatest revelation in Jesus Christ, and also I remember God is said to speak in the sound of thunder (Psalm 18 and Psalm 29) and in the sound of rushing waters (Ezekiel 43:2 and Revelation 1:9-19). Some may dismiss the value of these references as simple poetic devices in ancient literature, but I am on the side of the psalmist and prophets: they offer a picture of God's speaking words of comfort administered by ear into the heart of a distressed child.



The holy hush.

God whispers above the cacophony of the world, above the tumult within, to calm and soothe and to remind us that we are always—always – God’s beloved.

Sometimes we may experience a gentle but firm shushing in a new way that gets our attention. We may have occasion to sense a whisper of sorts loudly enough to be felt and heard over the tumult where we live.

When we, like the fretful, inconsolable infant, most need reassurance and redirection, we may experience a fresh resonant Presence that surrounds us even in the midst of our ordinary lives. This caress of the Spirit that never leaves us nor forsakes us reminds me that I never doubted Jesus for a moment, only myself.

We will all have fretful days and fitful nights.

Life casts us into seas of turmoil that challenge our notions about safe harbors and security. Our brushes with crises, whether health, family or financial; marital breakdown; heartache and loss of many kinds all threaten to overtake us and drag us in the undertow. Even when we know to expect such difficulties as a part of life, they can take us by storm and by surprise when they make landfall at our doorstep.

 But it came to me clearly upon waking in the wee hours one morning, this holy hush.

And it came among the promises of the Lord to attend to us even in the night.

“When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watch because You have been my help; therefore in the shadow of Your wings, I will rejoice.” (Psalm 63:6, 7)

“The Lord God has given me the tongue of one who has been taught, that I may know how to sustain with a word the one who is weary. Morning by morning He awakens my ear to hear as the student, as one who is taught.” (Isaiah 50:4)

“…How to sustain with a word the one who is weary.” There it is again: words of comfort.  First aid by ear. 

Each of us is a first responder in someone’s life. We need to know where to turn in times of crisis ourselves and how to initiate first aid for others. To give a warm embrace accompanied by caring words requires no special training or certification. The effect, much like swaddling a newborn to keep arms from flailing in distress, will begin to soothe a frantic soul. 

"The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever" (Isaiah 40:8).

“He strengthens the weary and increases the power of the weak. He renews the strength of those who hope in Him” (Isaiah 40:29-31).

Darrell Creswell's image used with permission.

Beach Days

Turquoise green surf nibbles bleached sand in the morning. As the sun eases across the southern sky, the wind today whips up white tips in soft peaks: seven minute frosting on emerald waves. I am giving thanks and 'dwelling in the land' of this simple beach. Perhaps somewhat in the manner of Psalm 37, I am definitely heeding the psalmist's admonition to fret not this week.

People find relaxation in different ways, but an uncrowded beach in mild, breezy weather is about as good as it gets to me.

Languishing at the water's edge offers a delightful respite from the rest of life's demands, even if only temporarily. It provides a time and place to pause and take in a different sight. 

Breathe recycled salty air. 

Gaze at tonight's full moon after the Venus-crossing-the-sun episode today. 

Marvel at nature's beauty when seen from a new vantage point. 

No special equipment required; no competitive activities needed by this one to provide a welcome change of pace from weekday routines. I'll leave the games to the laughing, running ones with evenly tanned bodies. I'll be the one asleep with a book in my hands under the shade of a fluttering umbrella.

Having written 'simplify' as a goal recently, I may even take a note or two to share on that point. 

Tomorrow.

Excerpt from Psalm 37:

Fret Not  was my friend Vicki's sermon title from this passage one Sunday.

When fretting becomes a way of life as it has for so many, this may be helpful to remember. The language is a little archaic, and it speaks too much of evildoers and the wicked for my taste, but I share it as a resource nonetheless.:

Do not fret..... 

³ Trust in the Lord and do good;
    dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
⁴ Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

⁵ Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him and he will do this:
⁶ He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
    your vindication like the noonday sun.

⁷ Be still before the Lord
    and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
    when they carry out their wicked schemes.

⁸ Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
    do not fret —it leads only to evil.

²⁵ I was young and now I am old,
    yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
    or their children begging bread.
²⁶ They are always generous and lend freely;
    their children will be a blessing.^[b]

²⁷ Turn from evil and do good;
    then you will dwell in the land forever.
²⁸ For the Lord loves the just
    and will not forsake his faithful ones.

²⁹ The righteous will inherit the land
    and dwell in it forever.

³⁰ The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom,
    and their tongues speak what is just.
³¹ The law of their God is in their hearts;
    their feet do not slip.

³⁴ Hope in the Lord
    and keep his way.
He will exalt you to inherit the land;    

³⁷ Consider the blameless, observe the upright;
    a future awaits those who seek peace.

³⁹ The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord;
    he is their stronghold in time of trouble.
⁴⁰ The Lord helps them and delivers them;
    he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
    because they take refuge in him.

Road-Weary and Movin' On

Today I met Lori who is just passing through our lives, she might say. She reminds me that when we pray for opportunities for ministry, we need not be surprised that God provides people in our path.

Today was such a day.

Lori shared with us about her courageous step on the journey to find safety and a healthy environment for herself and her son. We tried to help meet some physical needs and offered heartfelt prayers for her.

I feel an unsettling gratitude for the simple blessings of this sunny day: getting into a car and driving home without fear of who will be there or what he will do. Of having a quick lunch of hummus and boiled eggs out of my refrigerator. Mundane. But I do not worry if I can find something to eat at home.

I feel a sting upon entering a closet of too much clutter and more than I need, after rummaging through other people's donated black garbage bags to find some clothes for Lori and her son at the church because they left home under cloak of night and only took what they could put in the car. She is not used to getting her clothes from black bags.

Sobering.

My throat feels tight.

Tears well up again.

Psalm 25:4 “ O Lord; point out the road for me to follow.”

I pray it again for her and for each of us because it could be any one of us on that road today seeking safe passage. Our life choices have far-reaching consequences, do they not? It takes courage to break out of the cycle of abuse and stop the madness for the next generation. May God bless her and the millions who cower in fear and have nowhere to go. She still has hundreds of miles to go. And I will not forget her.
O Lord; point out the road for us to follow.

How Big is Your Boat?

But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things...
(Luke 10:41)

Have you been in that place, the place of busyness, of doing too much and--it seems--none of it well? Ever felt that you might not be able to do all that needs to be done? I have been dwelling in that place lately, not merely passing through in the past few weeks. Though I cast off the label of worrier and do not claim to fret or worry habitually, I acknowledge there are some seasons of life where the mounting needs to be met and concerns to be prayed over cast a huge shadow, dwarfing my limited ability to get the job done. We can easily feel overwhelmed, especially at the peak of the busiest season of the year at work.

What we call the holiday season is really the perfect storm.

This post-holiday let down is a common phenomenon, if that were merely all it is. It happens to everyone. But this is not about holidays at all, as I see it. It is Real Life. Life comes to us as a gentle breeze at times, lifting us and caressing us along the way, and with a storm's fury at others. Part of the rhythmic ebb and flow we can expect.

We must shift gears, adjusting to the demands to be met. And if we are wise, we will adjust our expectations of ourselves. That can be the hardest part.

I've written about jettisoning excess baggage to lighten our load when our boat feels too small to weather the storm. Get rid of non-essentials. Cut out something. As we go into a new year, that admonition rings true again as good advice.

As I am walking alongside a friend with a life-threatening disease, I will not let my whining about busyness and fatigue gain so much as a foothold. I will keep it in check, I promise. But we must be honest wherever we find ourselves, and live authentically out of our present situation--whatever it is. "Do not compare yourself with others. There will always be someone.....[thinner, richer, sicker, better, faster, healthier...]," is an oft-quoted directive that springs to mind here.

That is one thing that needs to go: comparison. It only invites envy or self-pity. Either is toxic to the soul. So, out it goes. My boat is too small to hold anything that feeds the flesh- and soul-eating bacteria of envy or allows for self-absorbed feelings.

If we take only one step toward lightening the load and making life's journey manageable today, may we cast off anything that causes us to look upon others with jealousy or envy because of what they appear to have that we do not. Sounds so simple, doesn't it? We do not think of ourselves as jealous people, I am sure. And that is just what makes envy and covetousness so universal and slippery for us. Just when we say we do not have a problem with something, we just got a problem with it; we set ourselves up for a match with the master of deception. Watch and see how such a practice can weave through our conversations and our actions during the course of a week, allowing us the chance to let it go.

My mother says it often and lives it well: Let it go. It's one of many gems we have learned from her.

No matter the size of our boat, it is sufficient to contain the One who will never leave us nor forsake us in the storm of life. His grace is sufficient when our abilities fail. Thanks be to God!

We may find ourselves in that place of being worried and distracted about many things, as referenced in the scripture above, on multiple occasions. If not for ourselves, we may experience such turmoil alongside others who are weathering tough times.

Storms of discouragement, disease and doubt slam into us at the most unexpected times ravaging our 'boats'.

Financial and relational struggles slash our sails.

High winds and turbulence toss us about leaving us fearful and wounded.

Where is the joy? Where is the peace in all this?

We've heard it said before: Those who try to anchor to position, prestige and power will drift away because those things cannot supply ultimate security and protection. They never have. They may only appear to do so. And how frustrating to see one spend a lifetime navigating the sea of Other People's Opinions only to find it leads nowhere.

...There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:42

Storms may batter, winds may blow, the sails may be torn, but the anchor holds! We have hope.

Reminds me of an old hymn from my childhood:
"In times like these you need a savior.
In times like these you need an anchor.
Be very sure, Be very sure, Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock.

That Rock is Jesus
Yes, He's the one,
That Rock is Jesus
The only one
Be very sure.
Be very sure,
Your anchor holds
And grips the Solid Rock."

A Fresh Look for Timeless Words

Sometimes we need a little help from our friends.

Reframing our circumstances--literally--gives us a new perspective we need as we try to practice gratitude as a way of life. And a fresh take on beloved scriptures keeps the inspiration before us in a colorful, visible way, if that creativity speaks to your heart.

Jen created and offered this rendering of a beloved text free for copying and framing on her site at http://theloganfamily.wordpress.com/2011/05/13/free-art-print-psalm-374/ . Thank you for that!


I contemplated this text previously when considering that sometimes it is--I believe--mistakenly interpreted to mean "God will give you what you want."

I have had to re-frame my thoughts on it.

Let our love be genuine.

Let our heart's desire be fully centered on God, and not on manipulating our thoughts or actions in any way.



For more on my post regarding this text:

Delight yourself in the Lord, and you will receive the desires of your heart. That was how I recalled this verse from memory, even writing it down that way recently in a journal. It would be easy to loosely translate this statement, "If you act like you are delighted in the Lord , then you will get what you are hoping for." That approach is even preached in some churches. However, when I went to the source to find the cite for Psalm 37, I found that it was not written as I had recalled.

"Delight yourself in the Lord,
and He will give you the desires of your heart."

Do you catch the difference? God does the giving! God plants the desires into our hearts! God is able to establish what it is that we long for...what we love....where our heart's desire is. God is able to change our minds and hearts, to do miraculous things in our lives, to recalibrate our very thinking when we live with delight in the Lord.

Are you out of love? God can sow a fresh desire for your spouse or loved one when you think there is nothing left to breathe life into. Out of resources? Let the One who owns the cattle on a thousand hills and created all that is show us how to manage or create in another way. Out of time? God does His best work in tight spaces. It is only the 11th hour to us; God has all the time in the world!

Our part is to 'delight ourselves in the Lord' and leave it to God to give us the desires of our hearts. I believe it is then that a circle of sorts completes. We may find that we desire the things of God....that we delight in the things of God....and discover a unity of Spirit and purpose as we live life with the Spirit of Truth abiding within. (See John 14 for more on the Spirit.)


(excerpt from http://meditationsinthenightwatch.blogspot.com/2010/11/fret-not.html )

A Parent's Prayer at the Beginning of Summer

Sometimes things don't line up the way we want them.

We begin to worry.
Worry can be infectious.

It taints our conversations and burdens our relationships needlessly. If we could learn to transform our worries into prayer...our concerns into petitions...maybe we would even change our hand-wringing into open-palmed acceptance and face our lives with courage and grace in the place of worry.

Parents worry about many things, but especially the life of each child. This prayer was by written by the Very Reverend Joe Robinson when Dean of the Episcopal Cathedral in Jackson, Mississippi. It was sent to me by a dear friend when our boys were high school graduates together. It may be a timely reminder for others as school days come to an end and summer begins.

Lord give us the grace to grieve in private-
to keep our children free from our anxiety,
to worry only about the things we actually know-
to free them from our obsessions,
to give advice only when asked, or when they are in danger-
to free them for your own shaping,
to expect that they will fail and fall and scrape
and get up to do it all again-
so that we will not interrupt their process,
to delight in the moments when they win and
to refrain from loving them the better for it.

For you love us when we win and when we fail-
and you expect us to do both.
You shield us from knowing your divine mind
so that we might have one of our own.
You hide your worry and your grief from us,
so that we might live in the world freely as your people.
You never ask that we do anything beyond our best,
And always add enough of grace to make our best sufficient.

Bless us while we are apart from one another,
and fill our lives with things we cannot wait to tell,
when next we meet.
AMEN

Photo courtesy of Rachel Kabukala of www.rachelkabukala.com

When Our Eggshells Tumble

Just when we think we have things stacked neatly in place....

the unexpected happens. Our lives become as fragile shells holding onto the familiar in an uncharted landscape.

A routine phone call—how many do we answer in a day?—morphs suddenly into the bearer of grim news when it delivers an unwelcome message.

Life turns on a dime. Everything looks different now.

I am reflecting upon a young friend’s news of surgery to remove a brain tumor. Just the spoken words initiate spirals of fear and what ifs?

We, who choose to live in the reality of now and not in fear of what might be, remind ourselves to look for the something good in this situation. So, I’m looking…but it's hard…and I begin to make mental lists to help direct my thoughts when they threaten to grow roots downward into negativity. It is a practice we can learn by doing deliberately, time after time, until it becomes second nature to link gratitude to our lives.

This is no mere application of rose-tinted shades, not a merry sunshine, superficial approach to life. That would be easy. I want to learn what it means to find hidden treasure -- blessings disguised as something else that we only see when we look closely. When we look with the heart.

“Take every thought captive…..”

What in the world can I find to be grateful for when a twenty-something mother faces losing her sight? Think….think…, I tell myself.

This friend has a new awareness that we do not know what tomorrow holds. The truth is, we never did. We only planned it out as though we knew. Now, she and her young husband will likely see that each day becomes sweeter, each sight and fragrance becomes more intensely beautiful, each hug more acutely sensed. They will savor the full measure of their days rather than go through the motions on the way to something else.

Such a way of viewing our circumstances may not change our situation, but it will surely change us.

Practicing gratitude as a way of life gives us a lens through which we view all things that come to us. We find that we see beauty in the ordinary, joy in the routine. Even in sadness and despair, we train ourselves to find something, some nugget in the day, for which to be grateful.

A crisis has a way of doing that to us—rearranging our priorities. But must we wait for the dreaded news? Can we not choose to live lives of gratitude in the everyday-ness of our routine living? May we bring ourselves fully to the task of doing our best work and giving thanks in even the most mundane chore.

Turn off auto-pilot.

Be present to each day.

Live with a new awareness of simple joys we fail to notice.

Remember the contagious enthusiasm and joy Jimmy Stewart's George Bailey showered upon others in It's a Wonderful Life? We know how the story ends, yet millions watch it year after year to see the transformation all over again. We want to believe it is possible to change our outlook and behavior. Maybe gratitude is at the center of a changed heart.

Lord, forgive us when we gorge ourselves at the feast of your beauty and handiwork daily without giving thanks.

Forgive us, when we who have sight have no vision.

Restore unto us the joy of our senses so that we might appreciate much more in each fleeting day.

Photo: http://rachelkabukala.com